Melissa
I grew up in the church and cannot remember a moment of my life when I didn’t have God with me. Hard turns and unexpected pain certainly has rocked me, but God has been faithful. I wholeheartedly admit that I am not perfect, but I serve a God who is.
Through it all, my faith has allowed me to not have all the answers and still have peace. I understand if that isn’t you. I understand if you feel distant from God or if you have never even really given Him a chance. It’s hard to be vulnerable and surrender to what you cannot see. My faith is the lens that I see the world through, so much of my blog will be seen through that lens.
My heart breaks for the many, many people I have encountered who have been hurt by those claiming to love God, as they have not shown you the love of the God that I know. Here’s what I know: God loves you. Period. And no matter what people have tried to make you feel, they don’t speak for God. I hope that you will continue to read my blog posts, even with skepticism that I am a Christian. It doesn’t hurt my feelings that it is hard for you to embrace God. He is patient and maybe you are the reason that I felt I needed to write this.
Trauma in my adolescence led me feel away from God. It’s so very hard to process pain and wonder why God didn’t protect you as a child. Yet, over time, I began to see the brokenness in the world, the very imperfect world, and the harm that humans do to other humans. I know God it must grieve God to see the damage that we do to one another. I know that none of this was part of His plan when He created humans.
Raising my daughter as a single mom in my early 20s led me to a deeper relationship with God. There is a newfound fear that comes from having a small human rely on you for everything that they need. I wanted to give her the world, but I knew that what I needed to give her was a foundation in my faith. Today, this same young human knows the bible better than I do and I am so grateful to God for carrying her through the painful seasons. She even started a blog of her own (https://philippians16.com (https://philippians16.com/)).
When my daughter was 9, I was diagnosed with Stage IV oral cancer. I didn’t fit the profile for this type of cancer. I am not a smoker or drinker and I was a young, female vegetarian. Treatment would require a surgery to remove my tongue and the lymph nodes in my neck. At the time, I was unmarried and teaching community college. The reality of what life would look like brought me so much anxiety. Thankfully, I have a supportive, loving family and we moved into my parent’s home. The surgery was long and the recovery involved weeks in the hospital. A month after coming home, I had to start prepping for chemo and radiation, even as I was still trying to adjust to things like a feeding tube and walking for any length of time. There were many dark days along that road, but they also became a season where I could hear the Lord the loudest. I chronicled some of what I experienced in my online journals at (caringbridge.org/visit/melissapaoloni).
My faith in God has brought me through so many trials over the last nine years. Trials in my marriage and trials with our children. He brought me through the trial of desiring to expand our family, even as doors were shut in so many ways. Just two years ago, he blessed us with our healthy baby girl. When our precious girl was only nine months old, I was diagnosed with cancer again, but this time things would be more complicated. My options aren’t the same as they were before and my healing would be also be more complicated.
Jeremy
From my earliest memories, I was brought up in a Lutheran church. Yet, as a child, I often felt as though I didn't truly belong. It was not until my high school years when an invitation to a small local church finally gifted me a sense of belonging. It was in that church where I encountered a profound sense of joy, and where I met a remarkable young woman. This woman, fifteen years later, would become my wife. The formative two years I spent in this small church taught me the invaluable lesson of universal love and God's omnipresent guidance, regardless of our backgrounds.
However, as I transitioned into adulthood, I drifted away from the church. Despite this, I knew, deep within, that God was working His way through me. In my mid-30s, I crossed paths again with the woman who had left a deep imprint on my teenage heart. She not only helped me reconnect with God but also displayed incredible love and compassion towards me, even in the midst of her personal struggle with cancer.
In June of 2012, we took our vows, moved into our dream house, and commenced the journey of raising our blended family in a loving and God-centered home. Melissa was a beacon of unwavering faith, demonstrating that God was always with us, even during our most challenging times.
Our decade of matrimony was a blend of trials and triumphs, yet our faith remained steadfast, with God guiding our journey. When doors seemed to shut, I realized, in retrospect, that God was opening new, necessary paths by closing others—some that I wouldn't have chosen to close without a nudge.
The test of my faith intensified in 2019 when, after eight years of remission, Melissa's cancer returned. This occurred merely nine months after our baby daughter's birth. Over the following three years, we oscillated between the lows of the disease's progression and the highs of its apparent retreat. Throughout this period, Melissa's faith remained an unwavering pillar, teaching me to surrender our struggles to God. She deeply believed in the simple mantra—Just Get Through Today.
In October of 2022, after a three-year-long battle, Melissa joined our Lord and Savior Jesus. It was an immensely dark period, not only for me but also for our entire family. I am certain that God was with us, comforting us, and with Melissa as she took her final breath and joined Him in heaven.
Since her departure, I have felt a strong urge to carry on a project that Melissa began in late 2019—a blog. Though I am uncertain about the future of this endeavor, I trust that God has a plan. I intend to follow this path, which I believe He has laid out for me, and share the thoughts that touch my heart.
'Just Get Through Today'—these words of Melissa have not only guided her through her battles with cancer but have also helped her navigate numerous other challenges. I am hopeful that, through this platform, it will offer solace to those in need, inspiring them to persist and get through their challenging days and also to find joy in life as well.